Procrastination is never ONLY procrastination!
Since ‘Procrastination’ is an act that we publicly damn and try to stay away from it -because it is an undesirable state-, let’s focus to the ‘desired action’ at the other end of the spectrum: Let’s focus on the ideal scenarios of ‘productivity‘, ‘efficiency‘ or being a ‘human-machine of delivering on time’. Does it sound more exciting now?
What is truly expected from us in our daily lives?
Getting things done! Is that really all about that?
Yes, we are all taught, educated & trained for delivering according to this one globally accepted purpose: Getting things done, on time, and in an acceptable quality level as an output. At school, within our families or at work place…we were mostly evaluated according to these criteria. This is a no brainier for everyone, right?
The formula is simple: Be efficient! What does that mean? Get as many things done, during a given period of time, as possible.
After you perform these tasks enough number of times smoothly and consistently, get to the next stage: Increase the number of items on your task list, close & finalize them successfully, within the same period of time!
It sounds like a very familiar, productivity and efficiency oriented setup. It fits into 21. Century slogans, perfectly. There are no surprises, so far There are even some ‘celebrity endorsement quotes’ of this idea, which are frequently circulated. Two examples of them would be:
Pablo Picasso once said: “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”
When an artist who answered his calling at a very early age in life says so, it sounds just so right.
You may delay, but time will not.
Benjamin Franklin
A statesman who influences millions of lives daily with his every decision may naturally have a serious sense of urgency regarding his scheduled tasks, as well as the emergency situations. ‘Average Joe-s & plain Jane-s’ have a different perception of time, when it comes to performing daily tasks.
Anatomy of a day that was previously dedicated to complete certain tasks
We all know the common symptoms of those times when we start to repeat certain patterns: It is that day of the week that you had previously planned to complete a certain important -possibly long overdue- task. It is that time of that particular day when we intend to start performing that overdue task. But, hold on! We -all of a sudden- start feeling very energetic, and decide to do a minor task, before starting the ‘major one’. We complete it quickly, but we start swapping from one physical task to another: Cleaning, cooking, washing the dishes, doing laundry, cutting grass, de-cluttering our drawers and shelves…you name it, we all do it! Until that day we all thought we disliked those tasks & errands, but this time it feels different! At this time, they play the role of perfect opportunities to prevent you from doing ‘that other major task’.
Some of us are more aware of such situations -about what is really going on in our minds- than the rest of us. Even those lucky ones happen to notice this pattern usually a bit late, during the last hours of our awake time. At that stage we simply face the bitter fact: Just another day has passed by, and we successfully haven’t done ‘that other thing’, once again. An optimist’s first response could be as follows:
“It is OK, tomorrow is another day. I can do that tomorrow, easily, the first thing in the morning.”
Just to our sincere surprise, the very next day starts and soon comes to an end, without ‘that other thing’ being completed. When enough number of such days & nights are repeated, we start to label ourselves in certain ways.
All excuses & labels in all wrong places
“I know that I am lazy. Mum always told me I was so!”; “I will never have enough discipline to succeed in life. Dad was right about that.”; “I am too much into my entertainment. I don’t have what it takes to have a structure in life.”
Those three would easily be on the ‘TOP 10 SELF BLAMING THOUGHTS of ALL TIME‘, globally! Some of us are a lot harsher and more brutal, when it comes to self-bashing. Please wait for a moment before punching yourself mercilessly. The reason of your procrastination might not be what you thought it was. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Yes, when it comes to understanding the deeply underlying reasons for your procrastination, those self judging labels are nothing else, but the cover of a book. A surface. An outer layer. It is, whatever you may want to call that ‘make-up layer’.
We all want to make certain changes in life, and changing that habit f procrastinating, for example. When does the true change happen in life? What is the formula of bringing that change into life?
Your subconscious mind is hiding a secret
There’s possibly no other & more diplomatic way to say this: You subconscious mind has got a VERY STRONG REASON, for you NOT performing that very action. You’ve been naively interpreting this situation as ‘laziness’ or ‘procrastination’, but the reality lies elsewhere: It lies somewhere deep deep inside you.
The reason might be an emotional past trauma, a misperception you’ve had when you were a child, a simple -but mostly not accurate- conclusion of your subconscious mind. In the language of the subconscious mind, every cause-effect relation is simple, plain, and sometimes even without common sense. You can not blame your subconscious mind for that. It is simply what it is. Your subconscious has its own reasoning, its own hierarchy, and its own measures for self protection.
It wants nothing else, but the best for you, in its own way. If your subconscious has somehow associated ‘that action’ with ‘danger’, ‘unsafety’, ‘potential harm’ or something similar, you absolutely stand NO CHANCE to bulldoze this situation by merely relying on your willpower.
Additional perspective: Your willpower is a finite source! You wouldn’t want to spend & deplete it, just to finally complete all your daily tasks on your list. Use your willpower wisely!
OK, let’s get back to the secret(s) of our subconscious.
Don’t muscle up! It won’t get you anywhere.
Showing your subconscious mind who the boss is -by brutal power- is almost never a good idea. You can cause deeper ‘fragmentation’ by doing so. Very basically, you will force causing a situation that there will be now ‘two of you, who will have severely different opinions & reasoning about that very matter’.
Your subconscious mind may seem to stand back, as your first impression, but it will develop just another strategy to make sure you WILL skip ‘that action’! If you insist on extending this chess game between you two, your subconscious may manifest a physical illness or a similar temporarily disabling situation. And if you still don’t get the message, things will possibly get more serious.
Let’s make peace
There are better ways to settle this. First things first: Talk to your subconscious mind, in the language of subconscious mind!
You can ask the help of any licensed healing practitioner of many healing modalities, to be the translator between you and your subconscious. Only then, convincing your subconscious for your mutual best & highest good, re-programming your believes & programs, upgrading your ‘human software’ would be much smoother.
Alternatively, you may put yourself in a meditative state, calm your mind, slow down your pulse, and ask yourself the following question:
‘What is absolutely the worst thing that can happen to me, if I start and complete ‘that famous action’?
Be patient. Repeat that question, as many times as it is relevant to…until you get the real reason lying underneath. It is just like many other things. Practice makes it perfect. Don’t give up at the early stages, when the first answers you receive are lame, cheesy or clearly made up. Dive deeper. Sooner or later, your subconscious mind will get tired of this, it will get emotional and impulsive. And at one of those moments -being emotionally very agitated-, it will tell you the truth!
Can you now feel that lightness?
After this point, it is absolutely up to you. You may agree with your subconscious or you may find that reasoning ridiculous, and may decide to over-write it. Please be gentle with yourself. You may also find the common ground. Regardless of the outcome, going through this simple exercise would save you countless hours of negative self-talk, feeling shame, and unconscious self-punishing.
Now, go finish ‘that very famous task‘ that you’ve been procrastinating over for ages…or maybe simply…don’t! 🙂
Kıvanç Öroglu
Healer & Transformative Coach
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